My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Farmville is her only friend.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize