Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
