it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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