i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
