I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
