Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
