My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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