This girl is more easily done than said...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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