she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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