hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
