We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
as a side note pls kill me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
