Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
