Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
