All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I came so hard my ears popped.
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