MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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