tell your sister to shave her snatch
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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