hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
