Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he high fived his dick after we had sex
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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