Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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