Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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