For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can't special order awesome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
