i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
