I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
