Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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