Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
