Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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