I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I love you. Go after that dick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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