Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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