Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
