guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
