Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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