Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
