hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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