i just google imaged poop.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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