If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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