I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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