billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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