I think scott just propositioned me for sex
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
