I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
