tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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