He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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