I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
