dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Found the puke drawer
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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