We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
