So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
