You're so nebulous sometimes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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