do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
