she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
