i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
