Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
