im drinking this country out of the recession.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
