he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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