My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
